Starvers

Image:  “Skeleton of human female lying on floor” by Dallas Feldenkrais

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Starvers

for K. R.

She starves
Her body
& her mind
Stands vacant  haunted
She’s dying
To be thin
She’s not
Concerned
With curves
She wants
Angles
Points
Narrow
Hollow
Spaces
What she craves
All starvers
Understand:
A bulge around the middle
Is a sin against God
Thighs that spread out over a chair bottom
Make you sick
Breasts that mound under a sweater
Make you gutter for breath
Round arms  full face  big calves  wide hips  double chin
A mighty army marching over your skeleton
Capturing your pleasures
Holding your life hostage
You’re a prisoner in a guardhouse
A dog in a pound
Weight and measurement
Are not useful tools
They are obsessions
She has starved
Her body
Thin
But she cannot
Exorcise that last
Ghost of flesh
That ghost that keeps adjusting the damn mirror that throws
Back a size in your face  a size that screams
Just a little smaller
Just a little thinner
And then
Everything
Will be okay . . .

~ ~ ~

From Turtle Woman & Other Poems

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